Velvet Lashes

Sunday 31 December 2017

New Year New Me?

What a year 2017 has been, I had my last little bundle of joy and have realised that you need to live your life the best you can, being kind and being happy within your skin and not to rely on others to do that for you, you are your own warrior and your own rainbow on the journey we call life. I feel that I need to do a lot of "finding myself" in 2018, and yes I am 32 with three children and a good job but its only until this point that I feel I have lost me and need to find myself and find a path of acceptance, accepting who I am and that I am great just the way I am. I need to learn to not allow people to put me down, to shut those people off and to not allow negative energy consume me.

I have always tried to put others before me, ensuring I am always checking up on how they are and doing things to make them smile, but through hard times you realise that most of those people will not be that kind of person for you. Life is a journey where you are always learning, learning about friendships and how these change and that some may leave and some may grow. I need to learn that its okay to let go of people and not to keep trying to hang on, if they want to be my friend they will be and they will accept me for who I am. I find I go very quiet when things aren't great, I exclude myself from everything and pretend all is fine but in actual fact its awful, those people who notice that and take the time to check how I am, to ensure they are there for me are those I will treasure.

I have found some things I will change, some things that I will start to do to ensure I bring myself to a point where I feel better within myself. I have found some books that I will read and keep to inspire and motivate me, as well as help change my way of thinking. I will make sure I start to think its okay to do that, its okay to have a night with friends, its okay to have a bath instead of clean the kitchen! IT IS OKAY! I always feel guilty and that I shouldn't be doing certain things because I am unable to, I need to start changing that thinking to YES I will do that and that its acceptable to want to see friends or to choose a bath over cleaning.

Here are the books I am going to use to help me on this journey.

Kindness- the little thing that matters the most

Jaime Thurston

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A book to discover kindness in myself and others

The little book of mindfulness- 10 minutes a day to less stress, more peace

Dr Patrizia Collard

A book to find peace within, filled with yoga and ways to feed the mind

The little book of Hygge

Meik Wiking

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How to explore the Danish way of life, by candlelight and changing your way of life.

I can do a full review on each book so you can see which you would like to add to your collection.

I need to mend me and to make sure that I don't allow people to stop that journey, I hope you all have peace and happiness within, if not then join me and lets do this!!

What books would you recommend?

A xx

Affordable Christmas Gift List

I don't know about you but Christmas can be so expensive and I swear each year the gifts are priced higher! I have quite a few presents to give with my 3 children, family, godchildren and friends as well as many birthdays that fall within the month of December so finding great gifts at reasonable prices is something I need to do and shop around for. So sit back and shop or click on the links below to get that Christmas shopping sorted!

A girl can never have enough nail varnish so here is a beautiful set featuring a gorgeous red burgundy shade called Passion and Supermodel, a mink pink shade, they are divine colours perfect for the festive season!

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Leighton Denny Nailvarnish Christmas Set

£10.00

I am really into books and especially adore books for self care, so when I came across this little gem I had to order some for gifts including myself! It has all you need to know to soothe and calm the mind including yoga and relaxation methods.

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Little book of Mindfulness

£5.99

Bath treats are such a lovely gift to receive, my favourite has to be a bath bomb not only do they smell divine they leave the skin feeling uber soft so when I came across this gem in Poundland I had to grab a few to add to some gifts.

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Pop to your local Poundland for this bath fizzer

£1.00

Stationary is always a winner with my friends from pretty pastels to gorgeous floral prints. I popped into Home Bargains and found some amazing stationary! I couldn't believe the prices and what a fab range they had! Be sure to pop down to your local Home Bargains.

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Mug

£2.99

Last but not least are a pair earrings. I was kindly gifted these and my goodness do I love them!! They are bang on trend and affordable making it a great gift for any fashionista!

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Earrings

£5.00

What gifts do you like giving?

A x

How to style dresses in winter

I am more a jeans and jumper kind of girl when it comes to winter, merely because its so much easier for me to throw on and not worry about with three children in tow. I love the jumper dresses I keep seeing with thigh high boots but to get these pasty bad boy legs out would shock the county so didn't even think about purchasing any dresses for this reason, yet the more outfits I saw the more I loved them so thought why not style some up and see how it looks so here it goes!

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I was recently gifted this gorgeous jumper dress from a site called Tobi. This dress is so comfy and teamed with tights, statement earrings and thigh high boots it is perfect from day to night. Click below for all items, if any are out of stock I have tried to find an alternative.

Dress

Earrings

Boots

I love the grunge look, the whole rock n roll where leather and leather ripped jeans meet, are my go to with shaggy hair and thick eyeliner so this jumper was right up my straight with the ripped details and worn grey colour.

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I teamed this comfy dress with tights, my Primark boots and again some statement earrings. This dress is such a great dress that you could wear without tights and swap the boots for some strappy black heels.

Dress

Boots

Earrings

I am obsessed with the colour mustard be it a jumper, bag or dress so when I received this dress I squealed! It screams autumn winter to me, a gorgeous mustard colour teamed with deep burgundy flowers. This dress can also be worn in spring summer so a perfect dress for all year round.

Dress

Jacket

Boots

Which outfit is your favourite?

A xx

Ebay Finds: Stocking Fillers

Here are some affordable eBay stocking filler ideas for you...

Flamingo pencil case

£2.99

Unicorn Diamond brushes

£8.49

Rose Gold Personalised Bauble
£1.00

EOS Lip Balm
£1.55

Bath and Body Works Candle

£6.00

Hope you got some inspiration for some affordable stocking fillers!

Which is your favourite?

A x

Acts of kindness

Kindness

"the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate"

Its that time of year where its about family, friends, love and all those Christmas festivities we love. I have done a lot of thinking the last few weeks with things being a bit tricky in my personal life but also knowing that there the world is full of sadness and misfortune. I aim to teach my children the importance of kindness so have started a kindness calendar where they have to carry out acts of kindness.

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My job shows me the sadness that surrounds us and that acts of kindness can make such a difference so whilst you are creating your Christmas wish list, tuck into your Christmas treats and drink your warm drink snuggled on the sofa please pause and think of those that live a life of sadness. The thing that shocked me when I started my job was that the sadness is on our doorstep, the sadness is in your street, your town and that people haven't a clue and neither did I.

Here are some acts of kindness I thought we could all consider doing over the festive season, as this season can be the worst time of year for many people.

1. Volunteer- you could volunteer at your local soup run or see what charities are in your town and ring them or drop in to see what you could do to help them.

2. Collect food for your local food bank- over the festive period its always good to do a reverse advent calendar, so each day you add an item to a box and after 12 days or more give it to your local food bank.

3. Give to the homeless- buy bottles of water or cups of tea and some sandwiches and blankets and go around your town/city to hand these out to the homeless. Do be careful and don't do this alone.

4. Give to your local refuge- you cant know the location of your refuge due to safety reasons but you can ring the womans aid line to find out how or who or where you can give the box of treats. Go through your clothes and add these to the box, go through your childrens toys and books and donate some of these too as these children have barely anything sometimes nothing.

5. Write Christmas cards- write Christmas cards and hand these out at an old peoples home.

6. Smile- yes that's right smile, such a simple act of kindness that can make a difference to a stranger. Smile at strangers, you never know how they are feeling and how your smile can help them feel better.

7. Compliment- it could be a friend or a stranger, compliments can change a persons confidence within seconds. If I see someone whilst shopping I will try to compliment then so if a lady held the door for me I would say thank you then take that opportunity to give them a compliment so for example, I love your hair or that bag is lovely and then watch how there face lights up! I always make sure I am genuine with it.

8. Social media love- if ever I see someone tweet that they are low I always make sure I tweet them to make sure they aren't feeling alone. Instagram is another platform I like to use to let people know that they are great so I will try to compliment peoples photography, outfit or makeup skills as I feel its important to lift people up rather then get jealous and drag them down.

9. Donate your old books or magazines- donate these to a local doctor surgery waiting area or some childrens books to a local school or childrens centre.

10. Make some cookies- even if you don't know your neighbours its still lovely to make some cookies and pop them on there doorstep with a little note, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors so this act of kindness could be just what they need as a pick me up.

Let me know if you carry these acts of kindness by using the hashtag #velvetkindness and tweet me @lil_alessia I would love to know how they went.

Let me know what other acts of kindness you have done.

Outfit details:

Jacket: Zara but here is a similar one, click here

Trousers: Pretty little thing, click here

Tshirt: ASOS, click here

Earrings: Zara, click here

Shoes: New look but here are some similar shoes, click here

A xx

Never feeling good enough

Never feeling good enough is something I always struggle with, always doubting myself and feeling like I can't achieve anything...does that ring a bell to you? I swear this has got worse as I get older, I know why it started and I need to learn to accept I am good enough.

So below are images that have been taken of me, and I instantly criticise myself from my hair to my figure to my teeth to my skin, I want to train my brain away from that.

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Society has built this image of "perfection" and the pressure to be "perfect" has never been so difficult, with Instagram showing the pretty pictures, the pretty faces and must have items that we all wish we had. When I was younger all that people started to use was acrylic nails, though not many had them, not much makeup and that was it! No fake tan, fake lashes, hair extensions, the desire to have straight white teeth, or a specific way to apply makeup we just did not have that kind of pressure.

I wonder what started this? I wonder how we got to this point? Its got to a point where such young girls are already wearing acrylic nails, hair extensions and on an extreme diet to be a certain size, if that is what they want to do then I have no right to say its wrong, I just want children to be children and for people to feel comfortable with who they are and with how pretty they naturally are without thinking they need to do all these things to be what they feel would be good enough.

Even at my age the pressures to look young is unreal, its so hard to feel that you look okay for your age and the pressure to be "youthful" and to be wrinkle free, cellulite free is getting to a point where its making people feel they aren't "good enough". I want my children to grow up where "perfection" is whatever you feel happy with, to feel that you are good enough, you are beautiful, this will be hard with the pressure from peers and society but somehow I want to make sure I teach them this.

How do you cope with the pressure of not being good enough? What do you do to make yourselves feel worthy?

Shop the post!

Culotte Jumpsuit

Top

Earrings

Shoes

If any item is out of stock I try to source something similar

A x

5 tips for a Happy Soul

I am my own worst enemy when it comes to feeding my soul, being happier and generally looking after my mental health, so I thought I would write a list of things that always spark some light and can then motivate me to ensure I make it a habit!

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One of the most important parts of my day, pre children, used to be my time to read! I would either buy or head to the library to gather up some books to get my mind wandering into pages of great literature, I found I would switch off from reality and my anxiety would reduce. Reading can relax the mind where it gets lost inside the words of a book rather then getting lost in worry and anxiety.

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Accept compliments, this is something I have struggled with over the years where I haven't got the greatest self esteem I find it hard to accept compliments but I started to consciously change this, instead of saying oh gosh no when someone would say something nice I now pause and thank them reiterating what they said in my head. This helps to accept what they have said and to store it away in a little lovely box inside our mind. We need to give ourselves more credit for being awesome.

Have a moment away from the fast pace lives we live. When I was little me and my family would go for walks every Sunday in beautiful places to feel free and have fun, these are some of my happiest moments. We recently moved home where our garden backs onto fields, I am so lucky and love the views! I try to make sure I take the children across the fields for a "bear hunt" like the ever so famous We're going on a bear hunt book, I want them to feel that sense of freedom, peace and fun exploring like I did as a child. Going on walks is a time I find myself feeling relief, where I can take a deep breath and walk off my worries. My favourite places are forests and beaches, they are the places I feel most at peace with myself, so when you feel like you can't escape your mind go for a long walk.

This is something I have always given to people I work with to help them recognise how they are good people, to recognise what makes them as awesome as they are. We aren't great at looking at us in a positive light, where we can stand in front of a mirror and with great confidence say why we are a great wife or a good friend.....so now let's do this! On a various pieces of paper draw a cloud in the centre of the paper with a heading on each piece of paper, one could be daughter, one could be friend, partner, colleague etc. Draw five lines out of each cloud and then write down a reason you are a good friend on each line....so a good listener? Loyal? And answer 5 positive reasons on each cloud.

Laugh. Laughing is good for the soul, surround yourself with fun loving people who guarantee to make you laugh, or pop on that funny film. The film that guarantees to make me laugh is Stepbrothers, basically anything with Will Ferrell! Even when I am at my lowest and feel so deep in sadness I am guaranteed to at least crack a smile when fun lovely people or a funny film come on the screen. Laughing is also infectious! Spread the laughter and the fun.

Shop the look!

Just click on the links below.

Bag
Jeans
Earrings
Jumper
Shoes
Jacket- Primark

Hope these were helpful, I'm now off to read my book!

What tips do you use?

A xx

MAC Blush Collection

If you don't know already I have always been a MAC Cosmetics fan from the foundations to the lipsticks they are always a brand I turn to. MAC have such a pretty range of blusher colours from peach to pinks they have a shade for all skin tones and looks you desire to achieve. I thought it would be an idea to share with you all of my MAC Cosmetic blushers.

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I love a good blusher, I mean who doesn't right? My MAC blush collection has a variety of deep plums to more of a brighter pink and peach. I tend to wear my plum and pink shades in the colder months and my peach blushers when I have more of a tan during the spring/summer time.

Dollymix

Dollymix was actually the first blusher I purchased from MAC Cosmetics. I had a day out in London with the family and MAC had released a collection with Dollymix as a featured blusher, a beautiful sheertone shimmer blush that adds warmth and a subtle sheen to the skin. I would say the colour is sheer but you can build it up that little bit more, the shimmer is stunning and can give the skin a beautiful glow so no wonder why I had to repurchase this one.

Petal Power

This blusher is one I had heard of time and time again from blogs I had read. Petal Power is a mineralize blusher meaning it is made up of minerals which are then ground and made into tiny particles. This blusher is pink with a beautiful thread of gold going through it, it is pigmented and adds a stunning highlight and colour to the face.

Peaches

Peaches is such a pretty summery shade, it reminds me of all things summery! Peaches is a sheertone matte pastel peach that gives a gentle sweep of colour that you can build a bit more. The colour is beautiful with a tan but also super pretty on fairer skin. This is my go to spring summer shade.

Just A Pinch

Just a pinch is an extra dimensional blusher that has a striking metallic sheen to it, it is a blusher I think is a must have with a tan its absolutely stunning and gives my skin such a stunning finish. I have also used this as an eyeshadow, it has such a pop to it and mixed with plum shades its a perfect combination.

Breath Of Plum

As you can see Breath Of Plum is one that I use daily, it is beautiful on all skin types and gives a stunning "breath of plum" to the cheeks. This is sheertone blusher giving a little sweep of colour to the cheeks, it has such warmth and is perfect for those colder months.

So that is my MAC blush collection, what is your favourite blusher?

A xx

Morphe 35f

When you find an eyeshadow palette with pretty colours and a reasonable price tag you can presume it may not be great quality....

Morphe 35F is a palette which seems to be pretty popular amongst many bloggers so thought I would investigate this little gem. Morphe is a brand I would hear a lot from many well known Youtubers forever featuring in a favourites video, but like many great brands these were not available in the UK, until now. Morphe is available from www.cultbeauty.co.uk and www.beautybay.com.

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Morphe 35f is very much what I would say an autumnal palette with red and brown shades, you can create so many stunning looks with all of these colours. This palette is so pretty, when it came I could not believe how stunning the shades were, you get 35 shades with a mixture of matte and metallic shades that feel like a pressed pigment. For £23.00 the quality is on par as MAC Cosmetics, the eyeshadows are creamy, easy to blend with no fall out. I have such a big wish list with this brand now.

Have you ever tried Morphe?

A xx

Pumpkin picking....

Pumpkins always excite me, telling me Autumn is certainly here, with the darker evenings, sunset leaves and bubbling stews

Pumpkin picking is soon becoming our little family tradition, we go to the Farrington Farm Pumpkin Festival which seems to be more popular each year. This year we struggled to park and it was too busy to decorate the pumpkins but we managed to look at the animals and walk to the pumpkin patch which was packed full of pumpkins, tiny ones, big ones and misshaped ones.

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My eldest, Rafi, loves this tradition and it was lovely to see Fifi understand a bit more this year. You head to the pumpkin patch to pick your pumpkins and stack them high in your wheelbarrow which excites the children so much, next you head off to wash them and then finally you head to the barn where you buy your pumpkins and have the chance to decorate them as you wish with some food, face painting and games to entertain. Unfortunately the barn was far too busy to do this so we purchased our pumpkins and headed home to decorate them ourselves.

That evening I made some scary pumpkin quesadillas which the children loved, they chose the filling and we cut out the shapes to make the pumpkin face.

Halloween Quesadillas

Ingredients

Tortilla wraps

Cheese

Tomato sauce

Veg of your choice

Meat of your choice

Method

Pop some olive oil in a pan and add a tortilla wrap into the pan, fry this for a couple of minutes and add your toppings, my boy chose tomato sauce, sliced ham, sweetcorn and cheddar cheese.

Pop another tortilla wrap on top and press down with a flat utensil, flip it over and press down again for a minute.

Pop the quesadilla onto a plate and taking a sharp knife cut out a pumpkin Halloween face and there we go!

Do you do have a Halloween tradition or recipe to share?

A xx

5 Halloween Outfit ideas!

Halloween, a time to dress up and have fun! I never used to "celebrate" Halloween but since having children I do and now love it!! The best part of it has to be the makeup for me, it's such a good opportunity to be creative, so here are my top 5 Halloween outfit and makeup ideas.

1. Mermaid

The great thing about being a mermaid is it is so cheap and easy to create, don't worry about buying a whole outfit, focus on the makeup and add colour to your hair. My top tips are to buy super cheap fishnet tights pop it on your face and add shades of blue, purple and pink eyeshadow to the area where you have the fishnet on, add glitter which you can buy cheaply on eBay and finally spray your hair with a can of pink or blue spray.

Here are some cheap mermaid inspired must haves I found

Mermaid Glitter

Mermaid Bralet

Here's a fab tutorial on YouTube from Rhiannon Claire, click on the link below.

Mermaid Tutorial

2. Halloween Deer

This is such a great look for Halloween and really easy to create! Get a good base on the face and add liner to shape the eyes and nose. Create loose curls, pop on a crown of flowers and add leaves into the hair....boom!

Here are a couple of crowns I found

Deer Headband

Here is a great tutorial on YouTube from this fab Claudia Sulewski

Deer Tutorial

3. Disney Princess

Think of any Disney Princess you love, so the makeup you do as your everyday makeup then to give it the Halloween twist add some fake blood under the eyes and there we go a quick and easy look. Pop on a wig and always make sure you check out eBay or Amazon for the princess outfits they have a great selection.

Here are some princess must have items i found.

Snow White fright outfit

Evil Queen Outfit

Here's a simple tutorial from Nikki Tutorials

Disney Princess Makeup Idea

4. Halloween Starlet

Have a dress or outfit you love? Well pop that on and do this super easy zombie makeup for a quick Halloween look! What I love about this look is that you only use eyeshadows no need to worry about funky SFX techniques!

Here are a couple of gorgeous dresses

Missguided Dress

ASOS Dress

Here's a tutorial from Frankie Dare

Easy Zombie Makeup

5. Vampire

I know what an obvious choice but what an easy choice too! You can create the makeup so easily and for the outfit all you need is black, so this can be a black dress, or jeans and a black top! Considering black lace is everywhere on the high street you could grab a really gorgeous outfit for this look.

Here are some outfits I found online!