Velvet Lashes: mental health

Sunday, 31 December 2017

New Year New Me?

What a year 2017 has been, I had my last little bundle of joy and have realised that you need to live your life the best you can, being kind and being happy within your skin and not to rely on others to do that for you, you are your own warrior and your own rainbow on the journey we call life. I feel that I need to do a lot of "finding myself" in 2018, and yes I am 32 with three children and a good job but its only until this point that I feel I have lost me and need to find myself and find a path of acceptance, accepting who I am and that I am great just the way I am. I need to learn to not allow people to put me down, to shut those people off and to not allow negative energy consume me.

I have always tried to put others before me, ensuring I am always checking up on how they are and doing things to make them smile, but through hard times you realise that most of those people will not be that kind of person for you. Life is a journey where you are always learning, learning about friendships and how these change and that some may leave and some may grow. I need to learn that its okay to let go of people and not to keep trying to hang on, if they want to be my friend they will be and they will accept me for who I am. I find I go very quiet when things aren't great, I exclude myself from everything and pretend all is fine but in actual fact its awful, those people who notice that and take the time to check how I am, to ensure they are there for me are those I will treasure.

I have found some things I will change, some things that I will start to do to ensure I bring myself to a point where I feel better within myself. I have found some books that I will read and keep to inspire and motivate me, as well as help change my way of thinking. I will make sure I start to think its okay to do that, its okay to have a night with friends, its okay to have a bath instead of clean the kitchen! IT IS OKAY! I always feel guilty and that I shouldn't be doing certain things because I am unable to, I need to start changing that thinking to YES I will do that and that its acceptable to want to see friends or to choose a bath over cleaning.

Here are the books I am going to use to help me on this journey.

Kindness- the little thing that matters the most

Jaime Thurston

mental health, how to be happy, how to feel positive, new year, new year resolution, new years 2018, how to do mindfulness, mindfulness

A book to discover kindness in myself and others

The little book of mindfulness- 10 minutes a day to less stress, more peace

Dr Patrizia Collard

A book to find peace within, filled with yoga and ways to feed the mind

The little book of Hygge

Meik Wiking

hygge, how to live the hygge way, mental health, how to be happy, how to feel positive, new year, new year resolution, new years 2018, how to do mindfulness, mindfulness

How to explore the Danish way of life, by candlelight and changing your way of life.

I can do a full review on each book so you can see which you would like to add to your collection.

I need to mend me and to make sure that I don't allow people to stop that journey, I hope you all have peace and happiness within, if not then join me and lets do this!!

What books would you recommend?

A xx

5 tips for a Happy Soul

I am my own worst enemy when it comes to feeding my soul, being happier and generally looking after my mental health, so I thought I would write a list of things that always spark some light and can then motivate me to ensure I make it a habit!

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One of the most important parts of my day, pre children, used to be my time to read! I would either buy or head to the library to gather up some books to get my mind wandering into pages of great literature, I found I would switch off from reality and my anxiety would reduce. Reading can relax the mind where it gets lost inside the words of a book rather then getting lost in worry and anxiety.

mental health, how to be happier, grow in confidence, help your self esteem, fashion, affordable fashion, ebay fashion, designer dupe, primark jacket, asos, h&m haul, velvet shoes, zara, ootd, street style,

Accept compliments, this is something I have struggled with over the years where I haven't got the greatest self esteem I find it hard to accept compliments but I started to consciously change this, instead of saying oh gosh no when someone would say something nice I now pause and thank them reiterating what they said in my head. This helps to accept what they have said and to store it away in a little lovely box inside our mind. We need to give ourselves more credit for being awesome.

Have a moment away from the fast pace lives we live. When I was little me and my family would go for walks every Sunday in beautiful places to feel free and have fun, these are some of my happiest moments. We recently moved home where our garden backs onto fields, I am so lucky and love the views! I try to make sure I take the children across the fields for a "bear hunt" like the ever so famous We're going on a bear hunt book, I want them to feel that sense of freedom, peace and fun exploring like I did as a child. Going on walks is a time I find myself feeling relief, where I can take a deep breath and walk off my worries. My favourite places are forests and beaches, they are the places I feel most at peace with myself, so when you feel like you can't escape your mind go for a long walk.

This is something I have always given to people I work with to help them recognise how they are good people, to recognise what makes them as awesome as they are. We aren't great at looking at us in a positive light, where we can stand in front of a mirror and with great confidence say why we are a great wife or a good friend.....so now let's do this! On a various pieces of paper draw a cloud in the centre of the paper with a heading on each piece of paper, one could be daughter, one could be friend, partner, colleague etc. Draw five lines out of each cloud and then write down a reason you are a good friend on each line....so a good listener? Loyal? And answer 5 positive reasons on each cloud.

Laugh. Laughing is good for the soul, surround yourself with fun loving people who guarantee to make you laugh, or pop on that funny film. The film that guarantees to make me laugh is Stepbrothers, basically anything with Will Ferrell! Even when I am at my lowest and feel so deep in sadness I am guaranteed to at least crack a smile when fun lovely people or a funny film come on the screen. Laughing is also infectious! Spread the laughter and the fun.

Shop the look!

Just click on the links below.

Bag
Jeans
Earrings
Jumper
Shoes
Jacket- Primark

Hope these were helpful, I'm now off to read my book!

What tips do you use?

A xx